GRATITUDE (Book Review)

As WWII draws to a brutal end, Hitler’s storm cloud of tyranny descends upon Hungary’s Jews. A sad yet soaring tale of a Hungarian Jewish family caught up in the cruel chaos, Joseph Kertes’ third novel, GRATITUDE, is a sweeping literary achievement that serves as a powerful humbling force – taking the reader through the dark night of the soul and into the spangled light. 

Sixteen-year-old Lili Bandel emerges from her small Jewish village of Tolgy as the sole survivor in a place turned into a desolate ghost town – evacuated by German soldiers. She evades capture – her blue eyes and blond halo shielding her – managing the long trek to Budapest alone, where the well-to-do Becks take her in as their own. 

Like many Hungarian Jewish families deriving false hope of immunity from Hungary’s alliance with Germany, the Becks, too, lived in their own form of denial and delusion, failing to see the proverbial ‘writing on the wall’ in time and heeding warnings from friends and relatives to get out of the country, until too late. 

Painfully, tragically, with great skill, humility and respect, author Kertes leads us through the harrowing journey of the Becks to the gates of Hades as they struggle to hold on to their dignity and humanity in the tightening death-grip of Hitler’s hate machine led by Adolph Eichmann. 

In the dark soil of despair and deprivation, new roots of hope and heroism spring forth as one of the family members, Paul Beck, a lawyer disbarred from practice because of his Jewish faith, teams up with the noble Swedish diplomat, Raoul Wallenberg, risking their lives to save thousands of Jews by forging Swedish passports.

Some make it, some are not so fortunate – losing their lives to the randomness of war, the privations of gruelling labour camps or the gas chambers of Auschwitz, or succumbing to deep psychic wounds post-war. 

What sets this book apart from other Holocaust books is that the heroes and villains are flawed human beings. One side isn’t always right while the other side always wrong. Compassion and cruelty often co-exist – revealing themselves in the unlikeliest of people and places. 

While the country is left in ruins – pillaged by Germans and Russians – true restoration begins, restoration of buildings and temples and souls. Restoration of dignity and hope. 

The story is a clarion call to us all to be alert and aware of the holocausts occurring all around us – and to act with courage and compassion. It is also a testament to the resiliency of the human spirit and the ability to prevail in times of darkness, as the author himself has prevailed over the dark psychology of his own demons, with a spirit of gratitude.


Reviewed by Sharif Khan. 

Healing the Mind through the Power of Story

[Excerpted from the Hero Soul e-newsletter on personal development]

Inside This Issue:

1. Healing the Mind Through the Power of Story

2. Interview with CBC Radio on the hero mindset

3. Noteworthy Events

1. Healing the Mind Through the Power of Story

"History is written by the winners, but story allows everyone’s perspectives to be told, even those who are conquered.” – Dr. Lewis Mehl-Madrona

I’ve come across a real gem of a book this summer which has made a strong impression on me and which I wanted to share with you today:

Healing the Mind Through the Power of Story: The Promise of Narrative Psychiatry

By Lewis Mehl-Madrona, M.D., Ph.D.

The ‘Aha!’ for me in this book is that stories shape the brain – literally. Molecular geneticists are discovering that ‘social experience modifies our genes’ and ‘reshapes our DNA moment by moment.’ (Social experience being primarily the exchange and enactment of stories.)

In fact, Dr. Melh-Madrona suggests, “On the whole, social relationships and experience are perhaps more powerful in changing our brains than drugs.”* Certainly, a number of so called ‘antidepressants’ out on the market prove no more effective than placebos.

There are positive and negative consequences to this story. One of the downsides is that often times a person experiencing illness enters the traditional healthcare system and is given a story: bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, clinical depression, ALS, MS, chronic pain such as fybromyalgia, etc.

Sadly, what often happens next is that when the individual is institutionalized to receive ‘care’, the entire medical team and support staff’s focus centers around empowering the story rather than the person. Healthcare turns to health-scare and instead of healing, the condition is often prolonged and/or exacerbated.

The upside here is that through narrative psychiatry and community/group storytelling, through collaborative interaction, empowering stories, or counter narratives, can be developed for dis-empowering the bad stories and empowering the person (vs. patient) to heal.

Dr. Melh-Madrona is asserting that many genetically linked diseases can, over time, be better managed, mitigated, and even transformed into healing success stories through the power of storytelling in conjunction with medical treatment, especially through collaborative community interaction.

In his book, he gives example after example of empowering stories he’s shared with clients suffering from various illnesses and their positive transformation from enacting these stories and attending community healing circles.

The great thing about healing circles is that anyone can start one up in their own community, consisting of a small group of people who are dedicated to each other’s healing. The group meets regularly in a circle. Each member shares their story by holding a ‘talking stick’ which is passed around the group. The stick is passed only when one feels heard and they’ve fully expressed what they have to say.

Nobody else can speak when a group member is holding the stick, which reinforces active listening among all members and activates group healing through narrative expression. Also, when a group member expresses a challenge, the rest of the group can pitch in by sharing whatever they feel they can offer: prayers, massages, reiki, advice, stories of overcoming similar challenges, etc.

A good takeaway from this book, is that if you find yourself in a rut, be it personal or professional, examine yourself and start replacing your negative stories with empowering ones, and consider joining a support group to express your stories in a nurturing environment. One of the reasons why Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous have been so consistently successful is the group sharing and camaraderie in community that occurs on a regular basis.

I highly recommend this book for all helping professionals and anyone searching for stories to heal the mind.

* One caveat the author notes is that “people taking psychiatric medications should never stop taking them abruptly, as serious withdrawal symptoms can occur.” Also, the advice given here and in the book should not be used to treat a serious ailment without consulting a qualified medical professional first.

If you’re more business and professional development minded, looking for ways to accelerate your business, organizational, or career success, than I highly recommend reading Peter Guber’s book:

Tell to Win: Connect, Persuade, and Triumph with the Hidden Power of Story

Guber, CEO of Mandalay and former chairman of Sony Pictures, is a world-class storyteller who gives plenty of business and organizational storytelling examples of how stories can be used effectively to influence, inspire, and innovate. Another summer favorite of mine and a real entertaining read!

I wish you a successful storied life and encourage you to Carpe Fabula (Seize the Story!).

To YOUR story success,

Sharif Khan

www.herosoul.com

Writer, Author of “Psychology of the Hero Soul”

Please visit and “Like” my new Facebook Author Fanpage!

2. Interview with CBC Radio on the hero mindset

CBC Radio recently interviewed me on their Ontario Morning show special profiling local heroes making a difference. In this interview, I share insights from my book, Psychology of the Hero Soul, on the hero mindset. Here’s the link to the podcast: http://t.co/WA88nCl

Some really inspiring stories of courage, conviction, and compassion…and some positive news for a change! Worth listening and sharing with friends and family.

3. Noteworthy Events

VIVA LAS VEGAS! Author 101 University is coming to Vegas in October for its renowned publishing success course.

Bring a friend for FREE at Author 101 University and save $100 off admission. Go to http://bit.ly/hSCMys and put in code EARLYBIRD. (Limited-time offer!)

Ideal for: aspiring and established authors, writers, coaches, speakers and independent publishers.

If you’ve ever dreamed of writing and publishing a book, or if you’re an author looking to fast-track your book publishing success, this is the place to be!

Click the link to watch videos of inspiring author success stories:

http://bit.ly/hSCMys 

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LEGENDARY Screenwriting & Story Guru, SYD FIELD, is coming to Toronto September 24-25 to teach his world-famous 2-Day MASTER CLASS. For details visit: http://www.whitedogseminars.com

Recommended for story writers, screenwriters, transmedia storytellers, filmmakers, and novelists who love film.

I will be attending this event and look forward to networking with fellow creatives. Hope you can join me.

_________________________________________________________

To subscribe to the Hero Soul ezine, visit www.HeroSoul.com and click on the ‘newsletter’ tab. 

Power of Story

"We all have a story we tell ourselves; change the story and you change your destiny." - Sharif Khan, author of THE HERO SOUL

* Stories have the power to transform, inspire and motivate. But they also have the power to tear down and destroy. Story is the lens from which we perceive the world, governing our behavior and ultimately leading to a self-fulfilling – or story-fulfilling – prophecy.

Have you given some serious thought about the internal story you may be telling yourself? Compare these two stories and see if any of the threads weave into your storytelling:

STORY #1

I’ve tried so many times and failed. Nobody cares. It’s impossible to find real, fulfilling work in these tough economic times. I guess I’ll have to settle for less. Celebrities have it so easy; they have no idea what life is like for the rest of us. When will I get my lucky break? Who will discover me? It’s no use, I’m just not talented enough; I’m not worthy of success. Why does life have to be so unfair? There’s little to hope for in this dark world.

STORY #2

People care because I CARE! I’m not afraid to show PASSION & ENTHUSIASM in my work. I can solve any problem if I’m committed enough. Every setback, rejection, failure is a stepping stone to success and is in fact an OPPORTUNITY to learn, grow and be creative. I create my own luck by working hard and smart while others complain. I prosper by doing what I love and I deserve all the success coming to me because I add value in people’s lives. I look forward to a bright future, and I’m doing my part by shining a light in the world and making a difference in my community. I’m truly blessed!

Two very different stories leading to two very different outcomes. While none of us would like to think we’re remotely associated with Story #1, the fact is that when we interact in the world and associate with some of our peers and ‘friends’ or turn on the news, elements from Story #1 begin to break through the inner realms of our unconscious.

If you’re not careful about it, those negativity seeds will take root in the soil of your unconscious and spring forth weeds that will begin to entangle your dream story and pull you down. It’s important to be vigilant right from the onset.

When you catch yourself voicing negative story threads, saying something like ‘cancel, cancel, negative thoughts and suggestions have no influence over my mind’ might seem a bit hokey, but it actually does help check the flow of negativity by raising your awareness.

A simple exercise you might want to try to crystallize your dream story is to write a one page short story where you are the HERO of your own story. Describe your IDEAL DAY from dawn to dusk. What would your ideal day look like, assuming all your dreams had come true? Write your story in the first person present tense using lots of vivid detail: what are you seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, thinking, touching, and emotionally feeling?

Have fun with it. Review your story often. Endeavor to live out the story of your dreams and one day, as the great philosopher Henry David Thoreau once said, you “will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

To YOUR Success Story!

Sharif Khan
www.HeroSoul.com
Freelance Writer, Essayist
Author of "Psychology of the Hero Soul"
An inspirational book on awakening the hero within

* Excerpted from the FREE Hero Soul ezine on personal development. To subscribe, visit www.HeroSoul.com and click on the 'newsletter' tab.

It Takes Cojones!

‘THINK BIG’ without cojones is like faith without works – it can only get you so far.

Talent agent and powerbroker, * Jerry Weintraub, had a dream of taking Elvis on tour. At the time, Jerry was just a smalltime promoter while Elvis was the biggest star on the planet.

Everybody thought he was nuts to think he could get Elvis, but he didn’t let that stop him. On a piece of paper he wrote down his dream: Jerry Weintraub presents Elvis Presley at Madison Square Garden.

He called up Elvis’s manager and shared his dream but was told ‘NO’. Every single day, for the next 364 days, Jerry called up the manager and was told the same thing: it’s NOT going to happen.

On the 365th day, the manager called him up to say he could get Elvis – if he met with him in Vegas the next day and brought a million dollars. Jerry worked his network like mad to raise the money and everybody thought he was mad, but finally, at the last minute, an investor and big-time Elvis fan gave Jerry the million dollars he needed to seal the deal.

The rest as they say is history. Jerry went on to represent some of the biggest stars in show business including Sinatra, Elvis, Dylan, and Denver.

By exercising king-kong-sized cojones, he reaped king-kong-sized rewards!

* I highly recommend reading Jerry Weintraub’s business biography:
When I Stop Talking, You'll Know I'm Dead: Useful Stories from a Persuasive Man


Sharif Khan
http://www.HeroSoul.com
Freelance Writer, Essayist
Author of "Psychology of the Hero Soul"
An inspirational book on awakening the hero within

World's Top Authors Reveal their Secrets

AUTHOR 101 UNIVERSITY is the place to be if you're an author, publisher or aspiring author. You'll hear top publishing and marketing experts and bestselling authors reveal tools and techniques to get your book published and fast-track your career as an author or publisher. For details, visit: http://bit.ly/hSCMys

If you’ve ever dreamed of publishing a book or if you’re an author and want to overcome limiting challenges and experience a breakthrough, then you don’t want to miss this crash course in publishing success!

Go today to http://bit.ly/hSCMys and get the details and watch videos of inspiring success stories.


Sharif Khan
http://www.HeroSoul.com
Freelance Writer, Essayist
Author of "Psychology of the Hero Soul"
An inspirational book on awakening the hero within

Op-Ed on ex Col. Russell Williams published in Winnipeg Free Press

"By all outward appearances, Russell Williams looked and played the part of a shining hero who could do no wrong; a rising star soaring high on the national stage before going down in flames as perhaps the most ruthless sociopath in Canadian history..."

You can read the rest of my opinion piece, "The darkness that lies within us all" on the Winnipeg Free Press op-ed page. (A side to the story I felt the media was not covering).



Sharif Khan

Author of Psychology of the Hero Soul

An inspirational book on awakening the hero within

Creed to Succeed

[Excerpted from the Hero Soul ezine on Personal Growth]

I was reading about the success story of Urban Prep Academies, an inner-city Chicago school that achieved a 100% college acceptance rate for its entire graduating class of 107 boys. That’s an impressive figure in itself given the sad state of today’s educational system, but given the fact this was an inner-city school where only 4 percent of the school’s seniors were reading at grade level when they started out as freshmen – now that’s an astonishing achievement!

It got me thinking, what were some of the factors that contributed to such an enormous success, and more importantly, how can we apply these factors to improve our own lives and our communities.

The first thing that struck me was the exceptional staff support available to all students. Each student is assigned at least one staff mentor and all staff are provided cell phones so students can reach them day or night.

The second thing that got my attention was the psychology behind the success. The school has a Creed which is recited by all students in community each morning. Here’s a portion of the Creed:


The Urban Prep Creed
We believe.
We are the young men of Urban Prep.
We are college bound.
We are exceptional-not because we say it, but because we work hard at it.
We will not falter in the face of any obstacle placed before us.
We are dedicated, committed and focused.
We never succumb to mediocrity, uncertainty or fear.
We never fail because we never give up…

WE BELIEVE (To read the full creed visit: http://www.urbanprep.org/about/creed.asp)

WOW! That’s one inspiring creed! How would your life be different if you had such an uplifting creed to energize you every day? Is there a way you could apply this creed psychology in your workplace, school, or team environment?

If not, then consider developing your own personal creed that you can recite out loud every day. Something short and simple using the personal pronoun I and in the present tense. I recommend laminating it on a business card or recording it on a CD that you can listen to and repeat while commuting to work.

To help get you started, let me give you another example. Here’s a wealth creed that T. Harv Eker has developed. It’s called “Attitudes of Wealth”: http://bit.ly/czF0gk

To your success,

Sharif Khan
http://www.herosoul.com
Writer, Author of "Psychology of the Hero Soul"
An inspirational book on awakening the hero within

Read the latest review on The Hero Soul by New Consciousness Review - Media for enlightened living: http://bit.ly/b55lbS

To subscribe to the Hero Soul ezine, visit http://www.HeroSoul.com and click on the ‘newsletter’ tab.